It is an especially bittersweet evening. I’m trying to remember my Tomkins: all affect is contingent. On another night, when I am more rested or more well-fed or colder or have been thinking different thoughts, apathy will seem possible. My mother was right: I’m just tired and hungry.

Speaking of a small nothing: how long can a woman of my socio-economic background, age, height, and weight survive sanely on eggs, fake chicken, apricots, and coffee? When entries stop appearing, come quickly…and bring vegetables.

Highlights from Tomkins:

The visibility of the eyes makes them unique organs for the expression, communication, contagion, escalation, and control of affects. To the extent to which intimacy, sexuality, and affect necessarily suffer inhibition, there will inevitably appear taboos on interocular intimacy…

We may then not look too closely at each other, because we cannot be sure how we might feel if we were to do so. Indeed, many of us fall in love with those into whose eyes we have permitted ourselves to look and by whose eyes we have let ourselves be seen. This love is romantic because it is continuous with the period before the individual lovers knew shame. They not only return to baby talk, but even more important they return to baby looking…

We will try to show later that intimacy is in fact greater in interocular experience than in sexual intercourse per se…

Man is not only an anxious and a suffering animal, but he is above all a shy animal, easily caught and impaled between longing and despair.

Who is this man, with his humour, sensuality, and science?